Regular readers of my blog will know that every once in a while I like to share a bit of a waffling post about what’s been going on in my world of late, and now feels like a pretty perfect time to do it. Why? Because I’m feeling pretty good rn.
Rewind to several months back and I was having to take time off work with anxiety. I was a
bit lot of a mess. I was pretty much struggling to deal with just existing, and it all got too much. I was prescribed some medication that turned me into a zombie, and was not working at all. I had so many thoughts and feelings whirring around, and the thought of having to make any sort of decision was the worst.
I decided not to blog about it – to keep those issues separate. But now that I feel so much more relaxed, settled and less anxious, I think it’s important to share the rough time I had to put some perspective on things.
To tell you that one day you might feel like you can’t handle getting out of bed, like your heart will never stop racing or that your head will never stop hurting. But eventually, it does. You will get that control back.
Over last weekend, I was staying at Liam’s and when we Facetimed a few days later he told me that we didn’t argue at all over those few days I was with him. Now, don’t get me wrong – we don’t argue a lot, but I tend to bottle up stress and he is sometimes at the receiving end if he says/does the wrong thing at the wrong time. Psycho girlfriend, right here.
After calling him cheeky (or something more explicit, who remembers?), I realised he was right and I immediately knew why. I was relaxed. No work stress, no personal stress. I had more energy, I was more enthusiastic about things and ultimately…happy.
I very rarely take the time to appreciate that. It had to be pointed out to me that I was behaving differently, more positively than usual. But I’m glad he did point it out to me, because god damn I’m going to revel in it, and remember it the next time I need to be reminded that every storm passes.